Imagine it! Wake up when you want. Eat when and what you want. Go wherever you want, whenever you want and with whomever you want. Spend as much time in the bath or shower as you want. Watch any movie or TV show you like. Dress to suit yourself. Oh, and if you want to hang out with a friend, male or female, do it. Spend your money the way you choose. You answer to nobody! Such is the life of living single. It is luxurious!
Living single does not have to mean refusing all attention or relationships. It simply entails not giving up your home for another person. Maintaining an independence that no one else is allowed to interfere with. A space that is yours alone. Because face it, even in the best of relationships, there are arguments or times of annoyance when you just need alone time. Sharing all personal space will not allow you the luxury of quiet time to think through difficult or problematic situations. Also, having a partner always in your space does not allow for your own spontaneity. Here are a few examples.
EXAMPLE ONE
The background for this example is the comparison of buying a used car versus leasing a new car. When leasing, monthly payments are usually lower, and you get a new car every two, three, or four years, depending on your agreement. Buying a used car can mean no payment at all, but there are maintenance costs to consider. Not to mention surprise mechanical problems at inconvenient times.
After some lengthy thoughts and calculations, and with mind made up, I recently traded in my leased vehicle for a well maintained older car. Although easier said than done it was certainly doable. The beauty is that there was no need to discuss this decision with anyone else before doing it. Finances had already been considered and it was nobody else’s business. Done
EXAMPLE TWO
On a sad note, I recently lost my best four-legged friend to cancer. I could go on about this but for the sake of brevity and to save myself the tears, suffice it to say, I am still in mourning. However, it does not stop me thinking that one day I WILL get another pet. More than likely a dog, but possibly a cat. Now, you might think this is a decision to discuss with a significant other.
As a matter of fact, there was a time while living with a boyfriend that I considered bringing home a cute little foster dog from the pet supply store one day. Since we already had two cats and a dog, I reluctantly walked away but took the contact information with me in case I changed my mind. Later that day, when relating the experience, the boyfriend became angry about not being asked before considering this choice. As a grown woman, capable of a great many things, needing permission to get a pet was certainly not one of them.
In fairness, roommates should be considered before bringing home a pet. The difference is giving notification, not asking permission. Alternately, no one should expect to be asked permission from another mature individual to do something they want to do. My admonition here is: grow up! Use common sense and make wise choices for yourself and those you love. But also, do not get yourself in a relationship where you feel the need to ask permission. I guarantee it will not support your luxurious life.
EXAMPLE THREE
Thinking of the events of number two above reminded me of another occurrence with the same person but with different and more significant circumstances. My elderly mom, living in another state, was having trouble making ends meet financially and had asked for my help catching up on her health insurance payments. In addition to paying the couple months that were past due, an arrangement was made to have the monthly payment, roughly $200, deducted from my bank account in the future. No brainer, right? Well, this fool of a man was upset that this step was taken without consulting him first.
The details are unimportant to the theme of this article but just know that we were both plenty comfortable enough to cover this expense. My point is that having to run it by another person was the burden. Not the act of helping out my mom. Had I not even felt the need to say anything it would have been less stressful. Faced with a similar situation today, it would be a luxury to just make the arrangement and move on. Nobody in my way or my business.
EXAMPLE FOUR
Picture yourself at the end of a work day. A friend texts to ask you to meet for a short walk, a cocktail, or dinner. A walk sounds good, or you are hungry anyway. Will you go? Being free to go, or even to make that decision without a hassle, is a luxury.
Similarly, a friend your significant other is not fond of asks you to go on a fun hike on Saturday. You know it will create conflict even if there is no other reason not to go. Will you say no to keep peace?
Lastly, someone your girl or boyfriend is jealous of invites you to an event. Other friends will be there but the significant other is not invited. Do you struggle with this decision? If so, you are not living in luxury.
WHAT IS LUXURY ANYWAY?
By definition luxury is a “pleasure out of the ordinary allowed to oneself” or “a foolish or worthless form of self-indulgence.” It is not necessarily an expensive item or possession. You can allow yourself the luxury of freedom from burdens and hassles simply by choosing to maintain your independence and remaining single. I will repeat, that does not mean cutting off contact with all people. But it does mean preserving a haven of solitude and peace that belongs only to you, where you can study your own thoughts and discover your own goals. Enjoy your luxurious life!
The single PQ!