Which is best, being single or married? That is the question. In what regard, you may ask. Whether emotionally, physically, or financially, being single versus being married offers unique differences that each individual must choose for themselves. We all have our own preferences and goals, so trying to match someone else’s standards may leave us feeling empty or wasted. Truly weighing out the pros and cons of each will help you to decipher the best course for a happy life.
I use the word ‘married’, but it could be any type of committed relationship. Some people are adamantly opposed to legal unions but are devoted, nonetheless. I also use ‘single’ as the opposite of married. However, it does not necessarily mean alone. Maybe you have close friends, family, or roommates you rely on. You are just not in a relationship, pact, or life-plan with them.
EMOTIONALLY
Even the most hardened of souls wants to unload every now and then. It is a matter of wanting to be heard and understood. Additionally, we want to share happy, celebratory times with people we love. Although we are all different, most of us can admit it just feels nice to have someone to communicate with about highs and lows. Contrarily, a lot of people enjoy their solitude. They do not want anyone else knowing their business and prefer to be left alone. Whichever way you lean may influence your thoughts on relationships.
Having an intimate partner often provides someone to talk to about our day. But so does a good friend. A worrisome workmate, financial set back, or even a death in the family are all things that could be discussed with either party. Often, a friend can be more honest than a spouse because they are more objective. The spouse may have their own motives for advising you in one direction over the other.
PHYSICALLY
Now, this is highly subjective. If your primary reason for a relationship is a sexual partner, then this discussion is mute. However, if you base a close relationship on more than just physical attraction, you are more likely to connect with my rantings here. Having mutual interests like concerts, theater, restaurants, health, movies, sports, vacations, etc. may be equally important. Do you want to have fun together or only sex, or both?
Here is where it gets personal. If you incline toward the sexual attraction, just keep in mind, all good things do indeed come to an end. Have you ever heard of the “honeymoon phase”. Yeah, that will not last forever, so you better make sure there is more to the relationship than that. Besides, having a monogamous relationship is not the only place to satisfy this need. Just saying.
FINANCIALLY
Oh dear, another tricky subject. Face it, finances are a huge problem with most couples and individuals these days. Unless you were released into the world with a cushiony nest egg, or you fell into a lucrative career straight out of school, you know what I mean. Having two incomes can be a big advantage as long as both partners want to spend it the same way. This requires constant planning and negotiations along the way to make sure the goals have not changed. A single income may be limiting but much easier to manage since it is only you making the decisions. Besides, expenses can still be shared between other types of partners.
MY FAVORITE PART: ME
I have done both. Two separate long relationships, lived on my own for several years, and now have lived with the same roommate for years. Thus, I have a lot to say for each situation and feel strongly about which I think is best. I truly do not want to step on anybody’s toes. If you are happy in your lifestyle choices, I am most happy for you. My choices over time have taught me many lessons I wish I could have learned earlier. So, I am going to share them.
Married way too young and having a kid in the first two years was the first and biggest mistake. I was neither mature enough to make those kinds of decisions nor strong enough to hold up to the pressures of marriage and motherhood. Those years were fraught with emotional and physical abuse and financial strain. Having come from a broken family, I felt determined to make it work but only ended up staying in a terrible relationship longer than I should have.
Next, I stayed in another long relationship with someone who at first glance seemed completely opposite of the first partner. Trust me on this, true colors always take a while to see. We never married or had kids, thank god, but I did leave that relationship with less, materially than I entered it with. On a positive note, I was much wiser, and finally ready to build a life on my own.
A few years ago, a longtime friend went through her own difficult separation, providing fodder for lengthy conversations about the woes of living in a committed relationship. After a few months of spending time at each other’s homes we decided to room together. It was not physically, emotionally, or financially driven. Four years later, we have maintained a close friendship while also preserving our independence.
IN SUMMARY
Obviously, I grazed over the main topics. I could spell out all the inner thoughts on each, and quite possibly will in a future piece. However, my goal here is to encourage you to develop your own internal dialogue about this subject. If you want to know more about my final choice, click the following link to read Found: A Luxurious Single Life Make wise choices! PQ